I live in Coulsdon, Surrey, England. Where do you live and what’s great or sucks about it.?

Near me is an old abandonded Victorian Mental Asylum, Cane Hill which used to look after David Bowie’s brother who threw himself under a train at Coulsdon South train Station (my local station) and Michael Caine’s brother was also there at Cane Hill who was kept secret from him by his mother until she died.
On top of a nearby hill is Chaldon Church which is 11th century with an ancient wall painting of Heaven and Hell.
I can see fields with horses from my window and I can make as much noise as I want as the neighbours dont care as long as I keep the windows shut (had full band rehearsals here for 4 years).
Coulsdon is a dead little village/town. Nothing left but Charity shops. No pubs.
No wonder I party at home and waste my time inbetween working and melting the walls with music typing questions to you good folk!
What’s it like where you hang out?

Would you want to read on, honest opinions please?

“Come on, darling, I won’t bite,” he said, taunting her.
Luca stood at the entrance of the alleyway. His nostrils flared as he took in her scent. The hunger burned his throat. It was dark but it didn’t matter to him, not any more. She would struggle to see and it made it more exciting for him.
He walked past the large dustbins along the alleyway’s edge, his fingernails scraping the paint off with ease. The screeching no longer hurt his ears.
“You’re the one who made the promise to me, remember?” he said, laughing. “’Til death do us part.”

***

Catherine crouched in the farthest corner she had found. Her shaking hand covered her mouth to stifle her scream. As the tears leaked down her face she closed her eyes and remembered the day they made the promise to each other; the day they had become man and wife. He was not that person anymore, her husband was gone.
Luca chose to come here to protect but now he was forced to stay and kill.

Chapter 1

He stood at the altar waiting, not on him, but on Catherine. She would be here soon and then he would be happy. Luca came here often, nearly every day. But today was not to check in, today was about marrying the woman he loved. The church sat right in the heart of Edinburgh and its tall stained glass windows were a talking point among tourists. St. Mary’s priest, Father Dowling, had been taking mass here for the last twenty years and Luca felt like he was a father to him of a different kind. No one knew but Father Dowling was one of them, just like Luca. He had trained and taught him everything there was to know.
“Ah, my boy,” Father Dowling said, “she will be here soon, there is no need to worry.”
“That’s easy for you to say, Father,” Luca said as he paced up and down the altar. Luca didn’t have any family left, so as he looked into the seats all he saw were Catherine’s family. A few of his “old” friends had turned up but he didn’t care as long as she came, that’s all that mattered.
As the organ music started to play he turned to face Father Dowling. Staring into his eyes the old priest told him, “This is your reward, son, for all the good deeds you do here on earth.”
Luca smiled and mouthed, “Thank you.”

What do you think of the start of my book/story?

Hi would just really like some more opinions- please be honest and thanks to those who take the time x

“Come on, darling, I won’t bite.” He said taunting her.
Ricardo stood at the entrance of the alleyway. His nostrils flared as he took in her scent. The hunger burned his throat. It was dark but it didn’t matter to him, not anymore. She would struggle to see and it made it more exciting for him.

He walked past the large dustbins that sat along the alleyways edge, his finger nails scraping the paint off with ease. The screeching no longer hurt his ears.

“You’re the one who made the promise to me, remember?” he said laughing, “Till death do us part?”

Catherine crouched in the furthest corner she had found. Her shaking hand covered her mouth to stop her screaming. As the tears leaked down her face she closed her eyes and remembered the day they made the promise to each other; the day they had become man and wife. He was not that person anymore, her husband was gone.

Ricardo chose to come here to protect but now he was forced to stay and kill.

He stood at the altar waiting, not on him, but on Catherine. She would be here soon and then he would be happy. Ricardo came here often, nearly every day. But today was not to check in today was about marrying the woman he loved. The church was placed right in the centre of town and its tall stain glassed windows were a talking point among tourists. St. Mary’s priest, Father Dowling, had been taking mass here for the last twenty years and Ricardo felt like he was a father to him of a different kind. No one knew but Father Dowling was one of them, just like Ricardo. He had trained and taught Ricardo everything there was to know.

“Ah, my boy.” Father Dowling said, “She will be here soon. There is no need to worry,”

“That’s easy for you to say, Father,” Ricardo said as he paced up and down the altar. Ricardo didn’t have any family left, so as he looked into the seats all he saw were Catherine’s family. A few of his “old” friends had turned up but he didn’t care as long as she came, that’s all that mattered.

What do you think of this? opinions on start of a book?

“Come on, darling, I won’t bite.” He said taunting her.
Ricardo stood at the entrance of the alleyway. His nostrils flared as he took in her scent. The hunger burned his throat. It was dark but it didn’t matter to him, not anymore. She would struggle to see and it made it more exciting for him.

He walked past the large dustbins that sat along the alleyways edge, his finger nails scraping the paint off with ease. The screeching no longer hurt his ears.

“You’re the one who made the promise to me, remember?” he said laughing, “Till death do us part?”

Catherine crouched in the furthest corner she had found. Her shaking hand covered her mouth to stop her screaming. As the tears leaked down her face she closed her eyes and remembered the day they made the promise to each other; the day they had become man and wife. He was not that person anymore, her husband was gone.

Ricardo chose to come here to protect but now he was forced to stay and kill.

He stood at the altar waiting, not on him, but on Catherine. She would be here soon and then he would be happy. Ricardo came here often, nearly every day. But today was not to check in today was about marrying the woman he loved. The church was placed right in the centre of town and its tall stain glassed windows were a talking point among tourists. St. Mary’s priest, Father Dowling, had been taking mass here for the last twenty years and Ricardo felt like he was a father to him of a different kind. No one knew but Father Dowling was one of them, just like Ricardo. He had trained and taught Ricardo everything there was to know.

“Ah, my boy.” Father Dowling said, “She will be here soon. There is no need to worry,”

“That’s easy for you to say, Father,” Ricardo said as he paced up and down the altar. Ricardo didn’t have any family left, so as he looked into the seats all he saw were Catherine’s family. A few of his “old” friends had turned up but he didn’t care as long as she came, that’s all that mattered.

Are you a weird kind of person?

The walls are shaking, look like I have bug eyes
Veins popping out, got on three different ties
Pants all baggy and in a faded white T-shirt
Buzz cut hair, with a face covered in dirt
Hairy like Donkey Kong, big like Godzilla
House nothing but a mess, a serial killa
Sometimes I stare, sitting is a wheelchair
Shine so bright, I must be some kind of flare
I’m weird and freaky, just a total stranger
Don’t get me angered, or your life is in danger

I’m nothing but weird and freaky
I’m around when things get sticky
Nothing but some crazy maniac
End your life like a heart attack

When night falls, so will someone’s body
And when a full moons out, I get all bloody
Creep’n through the ally ways and bushes
Looking through windows and couch cushions
People hate me for because I stalk them
Look’n back I just made life torture and grim
Grab you by the hair and take you to the church
Put you on your knees and see what your worth
Jump on the mantle and have a minor stroke
I’m a person you never want to provoke
Set the church ablaze and leave the holy ground
Probably on Monday your body will be found
I walk through graveyards and trailer parks
Where there is scorched earth, I just left my mark
So you better beware of someone like me
Cause if I find you, you’ll burn for all eternity

I’m nothing but weird and freaky
I’m around when things get sticky
Nothing but some crazy maniac
End your life like a heart attack

So what if I’m kinda strange with my own ways
Use heads as puppets and put on theatrical plays
I talk and sometimes even argue with myself
Sometimes I don’t win, got a new fur pelt
Anyways I got voices inside wanting to stab
Someone or something, blood I got to have
When I have facial hair I look like a cactus
I think I have rabies, my knee covered in pus
My mind covered in rust, out of control
I’m just crazy enough to grab you soul
Take you on an emotional train wreck
Show you total hell, so give some respect
Because I guarantee your end is near
Satan is gonna make you take it up the rear
Trying to prevent you from sinking like an anvil
I’m just trying save your soul from the Devil

I’m nothing but weird and freaky
I’m around when things get sticky
Nothing but some crazy maniac
End your life like a heart attack

The Midwest Arsonist